Warped Desire – Kay Addams (Beacon, 1959; Softcover Library, 1969)

The first Kay Addams title Orrie Hitt published, it is also a hard one to find for less than $50.

The story-line also mirrors The Secret Perversions of Kay Addams, where Kay Addams  reveals her life and how she came to write her first novel, Warped Desire, a bestseller in paperback lesbiana. In that one, Kay’s father is a wealthy attorney who married a 19-year-old girl who has a dress shop.  Her mother died in child birth. Kay goes to a private all girl’s college and has her first lesbian affair with her roommate, gets caught and is expelled.

In Warped Desire, the narrator, Doris Foster, never knew her mother, who died in childbirth, and her father is a wealthy businessman in the lumber business. He marries a 23-year-old woman who has a dress shop, named Laura.  Doris goes to a private all girl’s college and has a lesbian affair with her roommate, Nina. But it’s not her first time — the first time is with Laura, her to-be mother-in-law.

Hitt, as Addams, does a reverse play on the theme of several of his novels (like Frigid Wife and Unnatural Acts) where a man has an affair with his father’s younger wife — here we have a girl having an affair with her father’s younger wife, and it’s all wonderfully tacky and tawdry. While Laura prefers women for sex, she makes no bones about marrying the old man for financial reasons:

“He has to prove to himself time and time again he’s a man and it takes a girl to help him with that […] He bought me just as he would buy a new car and I have to give him the mileage. I moan at the right times and once in a while he gets beyond the barrier I’ve set up for myself. There are times with him I do get a certain lift.  But when it’s over with I feel angry and dirty. It isn’t the kind of love we shared and it never will be.” (p. 99)

The first time they had sex, Doris thinks it was a mistake of judgment; when she has sex with her roommate, Nina, and likes it, she wonders about her sexuality.  She had let the guy she dates, George (who works for her father at the lumber yard) take her virginity one night whole they were parked; he wants to marry her but she does not love him and now she thinks she is gay.  When she comes home for school break, she stats up her sexual affair with Laura, now officially her mother-in-law, and the two fall madly in love, so much that Doris breaks up with Nina.

I had another letter from Laura. She loved me. She loved me in a way that far surpassed any feeling she had ever felt. When Laura was with my father, giving herself to him, she thought of me. It was the only way in which she could tolerate him. (p. 126)

Nina is none too pleased with being dumped.

“You can’t escape it,” Nina said. “You know that, don’t you?  Once you have experienced the greatest love of all no other love can please you. I know. I’ve tried.” (p. 118)

Like many Hitt heroines, Doris is endowed with great beauty and everyone wants a piece of her ass — not just Laura, Nina, and Geroge, but the school groundskeeper, Hank, who rapes her, and one of her teachers, who gives good grades to any girl who sleeps with him.  Doris refuses until he blackmails her, but the sex is so “frigid” that the teacher never wants to be with her again.

This teacher gets away with it because the President of the college, Miss Lilly, is also a lesbian, and she confesses she wants some of what Nina was getting — she’s forty but thinks she and Doris could be a great couple, and when Doris graduates she can have a job there, as long as Doris keeps her happy.

“Look at me,” she commanded. “I’m not bad for being over forty. And you wouldn’t have to love me. I’d love you. I’d love you until you went out of your mind with the wonders of it.” (p. 151)

Poor Doris — everyone around her wants to fuck her, except her father, and we almost expect that to happen. Instead, her father catches his daughter and wife in the throes of lesbian sex and…well, he is not a happy camper when he sees it.

This is the best of the Kay Addams novels, and its relation to the Kay Addams autobio is interesting. I wish I had gotten a hold of this one for my article in Paperback Parade #74, “The Curious Case of Kay Addams.”

On the Hitt Scale, a 9, because it has a sappy ending where Doris renounces her lesbian desires and gets married and pregnant.

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